The Lutheran Zephyr

Why Football is Inferior to Baseball

The Clock.

Sure, I admit to being bruised by the Eagles' loss to the New Orleans Saints on Saturday.  But what makes football games like that so painful to watch is the clock.  In football there are three major factors - the two teams on the field, and the clock.  The teams play against each other while also playing the clock, managing and manipulating time, trying to always keep it on their side.

And so in the waning minutes of the game, commentators and fans alike begin wondering not about a wide receiver, quarterback, or free safety, but about remaining timeouts, the two-minute warning, and the impact certain plays could have on the clock.  Run out of bounds, the clock stops.  Get tackled in the field of play, the clock keeps ticking.  Throw to the sidelines, get a first down, spike the ball, take a knee.  These plays are only interesting because they impact the almighty clock.  In the final minutes of a close game the clock is almost more important than the guys in the other uniforms.

A clock?  A clock?  Is this what sport is about?  Time-management sucks the life from the final minutes of a football, basketball or hockey game and distract from the head-to-head competition between two opponents.  When is the last time you saw a basketball game tick down its final seconds without incessant fouls and timeouts?  Pretty exciting, eh?  Give me two athletes or teams going at each other, trying to beat the other on their own merits rather than a time-out laden, clock-stopping, choppy contest any day.

And that's why baseball is superior to football.  9 innings, 27 outs, and no clock.  Just beat the other team, get the other guy out, make the catch, hit the ball out.  No timeouts.  No seconds ticking down.  No goofy plays just to stop the clock.  Just plain simple sport.  Competition - one team vs. the other, each with an equal number of chances to score, to win, to beat the other guy.

Is it Spring Training yet?

Yo! I'm from Philly!

I don't do these kind of quizzes often, but this is right on.  And judging by my lack of any hint of a North Central accent, no wonder I couldn't understand my co-workers when I worked for a company based in Minneapolis . . .

What American accent do you have? Your Result: Philadelphia   Your accent is as Philadelphian as a cheesesteak!  If you're not from Philadelphia, then you're from someplace near there like south Jersey, Baltimore, or Wilmington.  if you've ever journeyed to some far off place where people don't know that Philly has an accent, someone may have thought you talked a little weird even though they didn't have a clue what accent it was they heard.
The Midland
The South
The Northeast
The Inland North
Boston
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Red & (Eagles) Green for Christmas

Today's Philadelphia Inquirer covers one of the largest holiday controversies to hit the city since Eagles fans pelted Santa Claus with snowballs in 1968 - whether to watch the Eagles vs. Cowboys game at 5pm on Christmas Day, or have the traditional Christmas Dinner with your in-laws.  Hmmm . . . . (Click here for the article, Hold the goose; this Christmas, it's the Birds).

Sure, the NBA has had Christmas Day games for years.  These annual basketball games, always between large-market teams with megastars, marks the league's first major marketing push of the season, an effort to get casual fans to notice that indeed the NBA season has begun.  With the exception of the Kobe vs. Shaq matchup a few yeas ago, these games really do not create too much a stir except in the households of diehard hoops fans.

But this Eagles-Cowboys game is different.  Most importantly, we're talking about football, the nation's most popular sport.  It's the second-to-last game of the season, and both teams have playoff hopes on the line.  Even without playoff aspirations, this rivalry is one of the best in sports.  Add to that tradition Terrel Owens, the former badboy Eagle wide receiver turned badboy Cowboy wide receiver, and you get a game that is full of meaning for fans in Philadelphia, Dallas, and across the country.  And with the national audience on a holiday, this game figures to get near Super Bowl type ratings.

In my household we will have an eye to the television.  We are sports fans, and we enjoy watching a good Eagles game.  It helps that our "fancier" extended family Christmas celebrations - with brothers and sisters, parents and grandparents - are taking place on other days during the holiday week (a low-key Christmas Day allows my Reverend Wife to recover from a crazy day of Sunday morning and Christmas Eve services).  And even though we'll be traveling down the road to my in-laws on Christmas Day evening, they're bigger sports fans than my wife and I are.  Surely the Christmas dinner can wait until after the final seconds tick off the fourth quarter clock - after all, it's not like Christmas dinner is a sacrament.

Truly, I would have difficulty with this decision if the Eagles game were on the night of Christmas Eve.  I don't go to or watch Phillies games that take place on Holy Thursday, Good Friday or Easter Sunday.  But those days are holier than Christmas, and those games usually coincide with the worship services and family gatherings that mark Jesus' death and resurrection.  On the other hand, a 5pm Eagles game on Christmas Day neither interferes with worship nor with the family traditions we are beginning to shape in our 4-year old marriage.  With that in mind, this game seems like a pretty good Christmas gift, eh?

Merry Christmas, folks.  And at the risk of being irreverent (not too hard for me!), let us pray:

Lord, as your angels flew over Bethlehem heralding the birth of your Son Jesus, so too grant that our Eagles might fly on the road to victory, score a touchdown one, two, three.  Empower them to hit 'em low, hit 'em high, so that we may watch our Eagles fly, fly on the road to victory!  E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!  In the name of your Holy Son, Jesus the Christ, who won the victory for us all, we pray.  Amen.

(prayer inspired by Eagles fight song, detailed here)

Speaking Fritalian

I love the Fritalian commercial from Dunkin Donuts.  Of course, the irony is that Dunkin' Donuts is mocking Starbucks' complicated Euro-lingo menu to sell you their latte, a drink whose name and milk/espresso combination is decidedly Italian.  But the commercial is funny, so who cares?

And I'm sure there is an analogy to be made here about our churches speaking a different language than most people in our society, but I don't have the time to make that analogy right now - I've gotta write a clinical report for work tomorrow morning. 

Enjoy the commercial and your latte, regardless of what language you use to order it.

Eating e coli

Tonight I ate Taco Bell for dinner, despite the E Coli outbreak that has been linked to Taco Bell restaurants in New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania.  Why?  Well, I've been craving a Chalupa (beef, baja, with some fire sauce thrown on top) for weeks, and I'm working the overnight shift at the hospital, so I figure:

1. I need a cheap, easy, quick dinner
2. I can get what I want, not having to worry about what my wife or daughter wants
3. If I get sick from eating at Taco Bell, I'm in a teaching hospital until 4:30 tomorrow afternoon
4. The best time to eat at Taco Bell is during an E Coli outbreak, because under such circumstances they are much more careful about the food and how they prepare it

I ate six hours ago, and I'm feeling good.  Though I wont offer a play-by-play of my gastrointestinal activity, I'll let you know if this thing turns south.

Faith, Fitness, & Fatness

Jesus healed the sick, the blind, the perpetually bleeding, the demon-possessed.  OK, but what about a 31 year-old guy with a gut?  Can he cure that?

I'm thinking alot about my health these days.  Perhaps it is because I am working in a hospital, where I see all kinds of sick and injured people whose condition or recovery could be aided by better health.  Perhaps it is because my aunt has had a recurrance of breast cancer, reminding me that my dad and his two siblings have have all suffered significant bouts with cancer.  Perhaps it is because I woke up nauseated this morning after a week of poor sleep and a Saturday of halloween party treats and too many cups of coffee.

Either way, my health ain't good, and the genes I inherited from Mom and Dad are not the building blocks of perfect health, either.  I'm 31 years old, out of shape and overweight.  It wasn't always this way.  In high school - yes, we all have those "in high school" stories - I ran track and cross country, and was pretty damn fast (4:23 mile, 1:55 800m, 52.5 400m).  I count among my proudest achievements winning a state gold medal in the 4x800m relay in 1993.  Now I can't run up the stairs without getting winded.

So what do I do about it?  Well, I have a history of well-intentioned plans that have lasted for several months, only to be scuttled by several days of bad weather (my daily 25-mile bike ride in 2002), a persistant and wicked cold (my daily run last spring), or a job change/dramatic shift in home routine (my South Beach diet of 2003/04).  And once derailed, I have found it difficult to get back on track.  I'm not sure what to do.

But I opened this blog post with references to Jesus' miracles of healing.  Many of us might roll our eyes at faith-based fitness plans, wondering if opportunitistic health care gurus are not reducing the Gospel to a personal health plan for middle class, suburban Christians.  On the other hand, as I'm increasingly thinking about faith in daily life, I'm open to the possibility that faith might say something about me and my health.

Whether or not faith has anything to do with it, I'm hoping, praying and searching for a way to improve my health.  I'm 6ft tall, 233 pounds.  Those height/weight charts say that my maximum normal weight is 188 pounds.  So I'm 45 pounds overweight, falling into the category of obese.  Obesity is defined as weighing 20% or more above normal weight.  Based on the high-end of the normal weight for my height - 188 pounds - the 20% mark for me is 225.  I'm 8 pounds on other side of being merely overweight - I'm obese.

I could find comfort in Scripture - particularly Leviticus 3:16b, "All fat is the Lord's."  But that is a reference to the parts of the animal sacrifice - including kidneys and entrails - that are given to God in the ancient sacrifice.  I'd prefer to not go up in smoke on God's altar at this point in my life.  There has to be a better plan.

Moral Orel

This is so wrong.  Think 1950's middle america meets twisted, bored frat boy with a computer.  What results is Moral Orel (Comedy Central page here).  Check it out over at You Tube.

Re-building Lego

I grew up with a HUGE table in the basement covered with thousands of Lego blocks.  From creating towns to building fancy houses, cars, robots, I could play with Legos for hours and days on end.

And so, it was with great sadness that I read today that Lego Group is laying off thousands of workers in an effort to remain competitive.  I hope they recover and rebuild!  Read article here.

Out of Sorts

I'm out of sorts.  I've been out of sorts for much of the past three weeks, spending 15 of 20 nights apart from my wife.  I was on the road traveling for much of two weeks, and now J is in Florida for a conference for six nights (coming home tomorrow!).  My poor daughter has had horrible hair all week, forced to go to daycare each day with only two poorly-placed barrets in her hair . . . Can someone please offer a course for dads on how to do girl hair?

As tiring as temporary single-parenting is, this week has been a load of fun.  The primary source of my out-of-sorts-ness is my car.  As my three frequent readers know, I smacked into a deer two weeks ago.  And the problem is this: I'm a traveling salesman.  I live in my car for approximately 35,000 miles per  year.  I have a routine related to my car.  And my routine was ruined by my run-in with Bambi.

Before you go accusing me of innane neurotic impulses, think of your routines related to your workplace.  You show up to work.  You turn on the computer.  As it warms up, you go get your cup of coffee and check in with your office-crush down the hallway.  Once you're reminded that you have no chance with him/her, you return to your cube/office, go online, and plan your daily balance of getting work done and wasting time on the internet.  Now, imagine that you have no office-crush, only decaf in the office coffee pot, and a computer with a dial-up connection.  That's what I've been going through since the poor deer met my fender. 

In my car is everything I need for a good business trip.  My prescription sunglasses have their spot in the car console, my cell phone earpiece rests on the passenger seat.  I have AAA maps for the entire northeast United States in the door pocket, and detailed city/region book maps for about 8 major metropolitan areas in a crate behind the passenger seat.  A rumpled box of tissues rests on top of those maps in the crate, along with a 6-page list of my customers' contact information.  The radio presets are tuned to NPR stations in Washington, Baltimore, Philadelphia, Harrisburg and New York, and my satellite radio has baseball, ESPN, C-SPAN, and various music styles ready for me.  In the glove box I have national directories for FedEx/Kinko's Office Center locations and the Choice Hotel system and collection of napkins leftover from frequent fast food feasts.  In a small space underneath my car radio sits an index card with the phone extension numbers of people I frequently call at corporate headquarters.  In the trunck of my car you'll find dozens of catalogs, numerous product brochures, several product samples, and a stash of surplus event supplies - from masking tape and an extension cord, to paper plates, napkins and cups.

When I rented a Buick LeSabre last week for my six day road trip, I wasn't sure where to put my sunglasses, didn't have a surplus supply of napkins nor a directory for Kinko's, was short on samples, was missing a map, and otherwise didn't know what I was doing for 6 days.  Additoinally, I was surprised I didn't need a new license to drive this boat, but at least it had satellite radio (allowing me to listen to Phillies games and Senate debates on marriage from Long Island to Hartford to Poughkeepsie). 

This week I needed to take a quick business trip (with my 2 year old!) to central Pennsylvania for a product demonstration.  I drove my wife's car and survived about 7 hours (round trip) of driving without satellite radio.  Can I tell you that regular radio is pretty bad?  I listened to the John Tesh show on an FM station late at night in the Susquehanna Valley, and struggled to find anything without much static the next day on AM.

By tomorrow afternoon, all will be right with my world - I get my car back from the shop today, and my wife back from Florida tomorrow.  I think I'll pick her up from the airport in my car, just in case I need some napkins, maps, or a good Senate debate.

A Must-Listen & An Impulse Puchase

The last time I purchased a book of fiction or poetry was for the senior year college literature elective I never finished (I'm not much into the whole fiction thing).  For years I've resisted reading or even caring about the world of fiction (though I did read a few of the Harry Potter books).  Since college my reading list has variously consisted of the New York Times, The Philadelphia Inquirer, Newsweek, The Christian Century, Sports Illustrated, The New Republic, and a somewhat regular diet of books about theology, ministry and occassionally baseball.  Note the lack of anything poetic or fictional.

So today I was listening to Fresh Air on National Public Radio when I hear the latter half of an interview with poet Mary Karr on the occassion of the release of her newest collection of poems, Sinners Welcome (this link takes you to the NPR Fresh Air website, which links to the Amazon.com site for the book.  When you go to Amazon from the NPR website, NPR gets a portion of the proceeds from your purchase!).  Dr. Karr is an adult convert to Catholicism who teaches poetry at Syracuse University.  In the interview Dr. Karr revealed her piety, appreciation for things sacramental, and a humble, servant-minded faith in Jesus Christ.  It was wonderful to hear, especially on National Public Radio (listen to the interview here).  So wonderful, in fact, that I purchased the book at the next Borders bookstore I could find.

So, two things to add to your to-do list: Listen to this interview at the Fresh Air website, and get this book.